Making The ‘Right’ Mistakes

I’m a kinesthetic learner. I’ve always been someone who learns through the process of ‘doing’. When I was five years old, I was playing with matches and set my pajamas on fire. I can confirm from experience that fire is indeed hot and will burn you.

I’m a trial and error kind of person, like a scientist in the lab testing out hypotheses with foreign liquids in beakers. Inevitably, the process involves making a lot of mistakes and then figuring out how to clean up the mess. But mistakes aren’t necessarily a bad thing. The only time we’ll ever stop making them is when we die.

It’s about making the right mistakes. There are some mistakes which can easily be avoided and are unnecessary because they serve no purpose. Say, for example, getting your third parking fine in a row for thinking you could get away with an extra 15 minutes. (I feel you, but also get your shit together.)

But there are other, critical and crucial mistakes that you will make in your adult life which strengthen character, build resilience, and teach you lessons you could not have understood any other way.

When coming across the Human Design system, I misunderstood the real intention of following my strategy and authority as an emotional projector. I thought that if I followed the system radically and perfectly, everything in my life would be infinitely easier.

It’s partly true – when you align with the way you’re meant to use your energy, the pressure and influence of family/peers/society becomes smaller and your intuition becomes louder. But all of your problems will not disappear just because you follow your strategy and authority. Even if you enter into a situation correctly, it doesn’t mean you can predict a positive outcome.

It can be easy to latch onto any system, philosophy or practice with the belief it will save you from difficult experiences and emotions. Spirituality and self-development are especially adept at marketing products and services as a solution to ‘feeling good’ forever.

But you have to remember that these bodies of knowledge are simply tools to help you navigate through challenging experiences. You are still inevitably going to fuck up and make mistakes.

It’s about learning how to get real comfortable with making mistakes. We are so afraid of making the wrong decision, believing that it will have some irrevocable effect on our lives that can’t be fixed. Yet, what if we considered our mistakes as a form of success? It’s through making mistakes that we discover what works and what doesn’t, what’s myth and what’s fact.

When we are end-goal focused and decide whether an experience is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ based on the outcome, we are missing the point entirely. Plus, it’s a guaranteed way to set you up for disappointment.

From a Human Design perspective, if you enter into any situation/opportunity through using your strategy and authority, whatever the outcome is what you’re meant to experience. Sometimes that means it works out beautifully. Other times it combusts into flames. And if it happens to be the latter, it doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.

Nothing is ever a mistake if you alchemise it into experiential knowledge that informs your future.  We trust people who share from personal experience, who know what they’re talking about because they’ve done it themselves. The hardest lessons we are here to learn can’t be taught intellectually; only through the process of going through it will you ever reap the wisdom inherent in any tough experience.

image: Mathilde Langevin

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