The Art Of Waiting

As a projector in Human Design, my strategy is to wait for the invitation for the big things in life. Work, relationships, where I’m meant to live etc. Waiting for the invitation is hard enough, where there is so much pressure to initiate and make things happen. The world is still set up in a way where we are praised for working hard and ‘hustling’ to pursue our dreams.

Doing ‘nothing’ feels terrifying; releasing the illusion of the perceived control we have over our lives feels crazy. How am I meant to achieve anything in this life if I don’t do anything? Shouldn’t I be making an active effort to find the right career/relationship/life path?

Human Design is radical in the sense that it proposes that we are not equipped to make decisions with our minds. It basically sounds absurd because we have been raised our entire lives to make decisions from our mental processing and rationalisation. The school system is set up to praise us on our ability to think, to act ‘logically’ and ‘rationally’ with our minds. The way we have been taught to make ‘informed’ decisions is to weigh everything up and come to our own conclusion through listening to the ‘rational’ voice in our head.

We have lived our entire lives making decisions from this mental space. And let’s be real, it’s often caused us a lot of turmoil and disappointments. Our minds have created more problems for us, placing pressure to figure things out when there is nothing to ‘figure out’.

Instead, Human Design proposes that we make decisions from our body, not our mind. We can’t fix the problems in our lives by using the same mechanism which has caused all our problems in the first place. We haven’t ever been taught to tune into our bodies, often defaulting to our brains to intellectualize our bodily sensations and responses. The most common example (which pertains to those with emotional authority) is explaining away our emotions, making up a reason as to why they’re there. In actuality, an emotion is just there to be felt. It doesn’t need a narrative or story there to justify it. The more we just simply lean into an emotion and feel it through our bodies, the easier it becomes to not react and make decisions from emotional spaces.  

As a projector with emotional authority, when an invitation comes, I have this instinctual reaction where I’m like AHHHHHH THIS SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS which makes me want to say yes right there and then. It’s so exciting to watch the process of the invitation in action, because regardless of what the actual offer is or who is asking, it feels so flattering to be recognized and invited.

But here’s the kicker to being a projector: just because you receive an invitation doesn’t mean you have to say yes. It doesn’t mean that it’s the right opportunity or is aligned with how you want to feel. All it means is that you are operating correctly as a projector and your aura is correctly communicating with the people around you. (As a projector, our auras are literally flashing neon signs that say “invite me!!” whenever we step into another person’s energy field.)

You can still enter into a situation ‘correctly’ through the invitation and it will not work out. Shit still goes wrong. You can still feel bitter. It may turn out to be not what you had originally agreed upon or expected.

That’s still okay! There will always be valuable lessons to draw from the experience that will inform your process of experimenting with these concepts. 

Learning to say no as a projector is vital. It is a complete sentence that doesn’t require justification. You don’t need to explain your reasons or logical process of how you arrived at that decision. It doesn’t have to be personal (although we can’t control how the other person receives our response). No is no, and that’s that.

It can be so easy to say yes to any invitation that comes our way. But the underlying energy of it will always be off – it’s coming from a place of desperation, of energetically communicating OH MY GOD YOU INVITED ME?! WOW I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE WOULD DO THAT! I HAVE TO SAY YES BECAUSE I MIGHT NEVER GET INVITED AGAIN…

As a projector, there will always be another invitation. A much better one is en route, if you can learn to deeply trust in your design. For example, breaking up with someone can feel gut-wrenchingly hard because we believe we will never find somebody like them again! And it’s true, we won’t. But we do eventually fall in love again, with somebody new. When you let go of relationships/jobs/situations, it feels like you are stepping completely into the unknown. It’s fucking terrifying because we don’t know what or how something will ever come in and replace it. Yet it always does.

Life is cyclic. We have our own seasons. Not every season is abundant and prosperous. The seasons where we feel like everything is being stripped away from us is always followed by a new cycle of rebirth and creativity. I honestly feel that life is a series of mini deaths, with change being the only constant we can rely on.  

The Art Of Waiting is a skill that many of us need to hone and master. You will not ‘miss out’ on anything by waiting. There is no need to rush. If you knew you would get there in the end anyway, would you be so caught up in trying to ‘do it all’ right now? Learning to sit in the stillness through waiting can feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. But I feel like it’s the waiting that makes life sweeter. When you have gratitude for the process and not the end goal, life becomes infinitely more enjoyable. And amusing, in the mean time.  

image: Douglas Bagg

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